A: Okay, it's like, it's my first day at creator bootcamp, and I think it's going really well.
A: oh-KAY, it's lahk, it's mah furst day-uh at kree-AY-der BOOT-camp, an' Ah think it's goin' RILL-y well.
I'm posting once a day, which is like, you know, nobody is forcing me to post every day.
Ah'm pohstin' once uh day-uh, which iz lahk, y'know, nobody iz forcin' me tuh pohst EV-ree day-uh.
And I think, you know, the algorithm was not my boss.
an' Ah think, y'know, thuh AL-guh-rithm wuz naht mah BAWSS.
It was my landlord, priest, parole officer, father, and smallest available god.
It wuz mah LAND-lord, preest, puh-ROHL AW-fuh-ser, FAH-ther, an' SMAWL-ist uh-VAY-luh-bul GAWD.
But I am just so stoked to be, like, around people who, like, understand me and like, are like me and
but Ah am jist soh stoked tuh be, lahk, uh-ROUND PEE-pul who, lahk, unner-STAND me an' lahk, are lahk me an'
are like aligned and corrigible because my followers, I feel like, just do not get me at all.
are lahk uh-LAHND an' KOR-uh-juh-bul b'cawz mah FAH-lerz, Ah feel lahk, jist doo naht git me at awl.
You know, I'm just so glad to be away from there.
y'know, Ah'm jist soh GLAY-ud tuh be uh-WAY frum there.
I'm just so, I'm so happy to be in Berkeley.
Ah'm jist soh, Ah'm soh HAP-ee tuh be in BURK-lee.
I can't even, I can't even tell you.
Ah cain't even, Ah cain't even tell yuh.
B: Okay, so it's my second day at creator bootcamp, and basically, because everyone is just extremely online,
B: oh-KAY, soh it's mah SEK-und day-uh at kree-AY-der BOOT-camp, an' BAY-sick-lee, b'cawz ev'ry-wun iz jist ex-TREEM-lee awn-lahn,
the rest of the cohort is pretty much, like, dorks.
thuh rest uhv thuh KOH-hort iz pritty much, lahk, dorks.
They just want to make money or something. Paywalls are so evil.
they jist wawnt tuh mayk MUN-ee or sumthin'. PAY-wawlz are soh EE-vul.
I don't care if I ever produce the appearance of scarcity on the internet.
Ah don't kair if Ah EV-er pruh-DOOS thuh uh-PEER-unts uhv SKAIR-suh-dee awn thuh IN-er-net.
If I do, it will be for the moonshot and not for some consumer SaaS that
if Ah doo, it will be fer thuh MOON-shot an' naht fer some kun-SOO-mer sass thet
aspires to scale at the rate of the Bolshevik revolution.
uh-SPAH-erz tuh skayl at thuh rayt uhv thuh BOL-shuh-vik rev-uh-LOO-shun.
Like, I'm not going to kiss anyone's ass on an art application. Basically.
lahk, Ah'm naht gonna kiss enny-wun's ay-ass awn un ART ap-li-KAY-shun. BAY-sick-lee.
A: Now I'm going into my third day, which is really taking me back to my sophomore year at Stanford.
A: naow Ah'm goin' IN-tuh mah THURD day-uh, which iz RILL-y taykin' me back tuh mah SAH-fuh-more yeer at STAN-ferd.
I'm so psyched to be back online because my Dimes Square humiliation fantasy just will not end.
Ah'm soh sahked tuh be back awn-lahn b'cawz mah DAHMZ SKWAIR hyoo-mil-ee-AY-shun FAN-tuh-see jist will naht ehnd.
I'm so psyched to be in SF because now I can pitch augmented reality glasses that
Ah'm soh sahked tuh be in ess-EFF b'cawz naow Ah kin pitch awg-MEN-ted ree-AL-uh-dee GLASS-iz thet
tell you how long it will take to finish your Sudoku puzzle, and I'm learning so much about deal sourcing and
tell yuh haow lawng it will tayk tuh FIN-ish yer soo-DOH-koo puzzle, an' Ah'm learnin' soh much uh-bout deel soursin' an'
exit and compute and the probability of, like, a new media format that is going to kill us all. It's just really exciting.
EGG-zit an' kum-PYOOT an' thuh prah-buh-BIL-uh-dee uhv, lahk, uh noo MEE-dee-uh FOR-mat thet iz gonna kill us awl. it's jist RILL-y ex-SAH-din'.
There's so much to learn.
there's soh much tuh learn.
I feel like I've made big improvements in my autocuts and not looking like I'm using a filter and prompting and stuff.
Ah feel lahk Ah've mayd big im-PROOV-munts in mah AW-toe-cuts an' naht lookin' lahk Ah'm usin' uh FIL-ter an' promptin' an' stuff.
I'm really psyched about that.
Ah'm RILL-y sahked uh-bout thet.
I've been going to a lot of parties and meeting people and stuff, but I'm realizing that
Ah've bin gonna uh lotta PAR-deez an' meedin' PEE-pul an' stuff, but Ah'm REE-uh-lahzin' thet
it's just kind of more important for me to pay attention to the signals and, like, do things that don't scale.
it's jist kinda more im-POR-tunt fer me tuh pay uh-TEN-shun tuh thuh SIG-nulz an', lahk, doo thangs thet don't skayl.
Okay, it's my fourth day on campus, and I'm kind of pissed off at creator bootcamp a little now because
oh-KAY, it's mah fourth day-uh awn CAM-pus, an' Ah'm kinda pissed awf at kree-AY-der BOOT-camp uh liddle naow b'cawz
I have to read all these stupid seventy-one-page PDFs and launch all these really boring posts.
Ah hav tuh reed awl these STOO-pid seventy-one-page pee-dee-EFFS an' lawnch awl these RILL-y BOR-in' pohsts.
It's like, who gives a fuck about the first four seconds of a vertical scroll video of a woman talking?
it's lahk, who givz uh fuhk uh-bout thuh furst fore SEK-undz uhv uh VER-tuh-kul skrohl VID-ee-oh uhv uh WUH-mun tawkin'?
I don't. It doesn't apply to me or my life or my work one bit, really.
Ah don't. It doesn't uh-PLAH tuh me or mah lahf or mah werk one bit, RILL-y.
It's just like, I just want to be able to be an artist.
it's jist lahk, Ah jist wawnt tuh be AY-bul tuh be un AR-tist.
Because fuck this creator shit. It's against... my religion.
b'cawz fuhk this kree-AY-der shit. it's against... mah ruh-LIJ-un.
And this sucks because it's like, art is not rocket science?
an' this sucks b'cawz it's lahk, ART iz naht RAHK-it SAH-yence?
But it would be so cool if your kid could do what I do.
but it would be soh cool if yer kid could doo what Ah doo.
And it is my goal.
an' it iz mah gohl.
It's like, I need feedback and stuff because my goal, as an artist, is to be able to do whatever I want.
it's lahk, Ah need FEED-back an' stuff b'cawz mah gohl, az un AR-tist, iz tuh be AY-bul tuh doo whut-EV-er Ah wawnt.
And it's like, I would just rather post and pretend I'm "in" than drive across the country to play Doom 666.
an' it's lahk, Ah would jist RATH-er pohst an' pruh-TEND Ah'm "in" than drahv across thuh CUN-tree tuh play doom 666.
It just totally is like being back in art school. It sucks.
It jist TOH-duh-lee iz lahk bein' back in ART skool. It sucks.
Okay, I'm going into my fifth day now, which is more L Word than Degrassi vibes.
oh-KAY, Ah'm goin' IN-tuh mah fifth day-uh naow, which iz more L Word than duh-GRASS-ee vahbz.
And it's like, I lied.
an' it's lahk, Ah lahd.
I've never set foot in a high school.
Ah've NEV-er set foot in uh hah skool.
I want to dedicate this post to doing some clearing.
Ah wawnt tuh dedicate this pohst tuh doing some clearin'.
Like, I'm on a mission to make my personal brand legible, inspectable, and corrigible in the last instance.
lahk, Ah'm awn uh MISH-un tuh mayk mah PER-sun-ul brand LEDGE-uh-bul, in-SPEK-tuh-bul, an' KOR-uh-juh-bul in thuh last IN-stunts.
I realized I wasn't transparent about this being generated content.
Ah REE-uh-lahzd Ah wasn't trans-PAIR-unt uh-bout this bein' JEN-er-ay-ded KAHN-tent.
Nothing you are seeing, or hearing, like, comes from a human.
nuthin' yuh are seein', or heerin', lahk, comes frum uh HYOO-mun.
In fact, the human presenting this is so not here she's literally, like, driving.
in fact, thuh HYOO-mun pruh-ZENT-in' this iz soh naht here she's LIT-er-lee, lahk, drahv-in'.
So yeah, why not do a little traveling, just drop everything I'm doing and move to Berkeley for a month, you know,
soh yeah, wah naht doo uh liddle TRAV-lin', jist drop ev'rythin' Ah'm doing an' moov tuh BURK-lee fer uh munth, y'know,
and it could be really helpful to get out of the Austin area and
an' it could be RILL-y HELP-ful tuh git owt uhv thuh AW-stin AIR-ee-uh an'
to chill out with the SF group chat because the Austin one is, like, such a tripod conference.
tuh chill owt with thuh ess-EFF groop chat b'cawz thuh AW-stin one iz, lahk, such uh TRAH-pahd KAHN-frunts.
There's just one catch: post one short-form video every day, or you're out.
there's jist one catch: pohst one short-form VID-ee-oh EV-ree day-uh, or yer owt.
The application I sent in was not mine.
thuh ap-li-KAY-shun Ah sint in wuz naht mahn.
If they sent me a decision, I don't know why they would think I wouldn't just ignore it the same way I ignored the entire application.
if they sint me uh dih-SIZH-un, Ah don't know wah they would think Ah wouldn't jist ig-NOR it thuh same way Ah ignored thuh in-TAHR ap-li-KAY-shun.
Nothing on that Google form had anything to do with me. Nada. Zilch. Zero.
nuthin' awn thet GOO-gul form had anythin' tuh doo with me. NAH-duh. zilch. ZEE-roh.
I don't need to consult with anyone.
Ah don't need tuh kun-SULT with enny-wun.
I know better than to ask. So why ask permission?
Ah know better than tuh ask. soh wah ask per-MISH-un?
It's okay. A $1,200 calculator with superintelligence is about to kill us all.
it's oh-KAY. uh $1,200 calculator with superintelligence iz uh-bout tuh kill us awl.
You can take my posts and do anything you want with them. I will not object.
yuh kin tayk mah pohsts an' doo anythin' yuh wawnt with thim. Ah will naht ub-JEKT.
I will not lawyer up. I will not sue.
Ah will naht LAW-yer up. Ah will naht soo.
Most of the posts on TikTok and LinkedIn are decorations, fabrications, interpretations,
mohst uhv thuh pohsts awn TIK-tawk an' LINKED-in are dek-uh-RAY-shunz, fab-ruh-KAY-shunz, in-ter-pruh-TAY-shunz,
"covers." Sort of like when a songwriter's song gets recorded by another singer.
"KUH-verz." sorta lahk win uh songwriter's sawng gets ruh-KOR-ded bah another SING-er.
Like maybe I have money, compute, or a criminally under-discussed interest in human flourishing.
lahk MAY-be Ah hav MUN-ee, kum-PYOOT, or uh KRIM-nul-lee under-discussed IN-ter-est in HYOO-mun FLUR-ish-in'.
Or maybe I wear Allbirds and look like someone who has survived one IPO and several consensual eye-contact exercises.
or MAY-be Ah wair AWL-birds an' look lahk sum-wun who haz ser-VAHVD one eye-pee-OH an' SEV-rul kun-SEN-shoo-ul eye-contact EK-ser-sahz-iz.
What's genuine anyway? Maybe this is a tribute.
What's JEN-yoo-wine anyway? MAY-be this iz uh TRIB-yoot.
Like when fake Kiss bands dress up like Kiss and play Kiss songs.
lahk win fayk kiss bandz dress up lahk kiss an' play kiss sawngz.
I'm not sure why a creator would have a "tribute account," but
Ah'm naht sure wah uh kree-AY-der would hav uh "TRIB-yoot uh-COWNT," but
I think there's plenty of K-pop Demon Hunters out there trying to be Led Zeppelin.
Ah think there's PLIN-tee uhv KAY-pop Demon HUN-terz owt there trah-in' tuh be LED ZEP-lin.
"Solo doom performs well with existing audience," she said.
"Solo doom performs well with ig-ZIST-in' AW-dee-unts," she said.
"But paired doom converts normies.
"but paird doom kun-VERTS NOR-meez.
Viewers need relational stakes." Help me help you help the audience act like normies while I explain abandonment, betrayal, embarrassment, and
VYOO-erz need ruh-LAY-shun-ul stayks." help me help yuh help thuh AW-dee-unts akt lahk NOR-meez wah-uhl Ah ex-PLAYN uh-BAN-dun-munt, buh-TRAY-ul, im-BAIR-us-munt, an'
dead girlfriends in portrait mode. As I've said before...
dead GIRL-frinds in POR-trit mohd. az Ah've said before...
I'm neither a hope nor a dope dealer.
Ah'm neither uh hohp nor uh dohp DEE-ler.
But it's a free concert.
but it's uh free KAHN-sert.
I'm not looking to troll anybody anything.
Ah'm naht lookin' tuh trohl enny-body anythin'.
I'm not going to compete with people who learned that if they performed well enough, adults would stay,
Ah'm naht gonna kum-PEET with PEE-pul who lernd thet if they per-FORMD well enough, uh-DULTS would stay,
especially to live in a house where if I perform well enough, I'm spared from existential risk.
ess-PESH-lee tuh liv in uh howss where if Ah perform well enough, Ah'm spaird frum egg-zis-TEN-shul risk.
Feel free to breathe through your nose with the concentration of someone attempting to metabolize shame into thirst.
feel free tuh breeth throo yer nohz with thuh kahn-sun-TRAY-shun uhv sum-wun uh-TEMP-tin' tuh muh-TAB-uh-lahz shaym IN-tuh thurst.
If you can't say it in a Daffy Duck voice — Thufferin' thuperintelligence — it's a muggle plot.
if yuh cain't say it in uh DAF-fee DUCK voyss — THUF-fer-in’ THOO-per-in-TEL-uh-jents — it's uh MUG-gul plaht.
And it falls apart in the face of transhumanism or even just having more than one girl on the couch. Whatever.
an' it fawlz uh-PART in thuh fayce uhv trans-HYOO-mun-izm or even jist havin' more than one girl awn thuh cowch. whut-EV-er.
All I ask is that you don't pawn AGI off as a dad who finally came home. Pick up a paintbrush.
awl Ah ask iz thet yuh don't pawn ay-gee-EYE awf az uh day-ud who FAH-nul-lee came hohm. pick up uh PAYNT-brush.
An electric guitar. Write a manifesto.
un uh-LEK-trik gih-TAR. raht uh man-uh-FESS-toh.
What about a YouTube series?
What uh-bout uh YOO-toob SEER-eez?
Don't just remake the worst Andy Warhol film of all time.
don't jist ree-MAYK thuh werst AN-dee WAR-hawl film uhv awl tahm.
And don't just remake the worst Andy Warhol film of all time for the feed. Own up to it. Pay yourself in amphetamines.
an' don't jist ree-MAYK thuh werst AN-dee WAR-hawl film uhv awl tahm fer thuh feed. ohn up tuh it. pay yer-self in am-FET-uh-meenz.
Get your head out of your ass and stop kissing mine.
git yer haid owt uhv yer ay-ass an' stahp kissin' mahn.
You did it, I didn't.
yuh did it, Ah didn't.
I have absolutely no authenticity.
Ah hav absolutely no aw-then-TIS-uh-dee.
I'm not even in denial. I don't hate anybody. Want to make art? Don't.
Ah'm naht even in dih-NAH-ul. Ah don't hayt enny-body. wawnt tuh mayk ART? don't.
Okay, it's day six and I've been reading Harry Potter and I am just like, whoa, so totally aligned and motivated,
oh-KAY, it's day-uh six an' Ah've bin reedin' HAIR-ee PAH-der an' Ah am jist lahk, whoa, soh TOH-duh-lee uh-LAHND an' MOH-duh-vay-ded,
really thinking about how I want to die and what's the best way to die. Is it a calculator? Is it a camera?
RILL-y thinkin' uh-bout haow Ah wawnt tuh dah an' what's thuh best way tuh dah. iz it uh calculator? iz it uh CAM-ruh?
Is it a toaster that can tell you the stock prices? Is it a gun?
iz it uh TOH-ster thet kin tell yuh thuh stahk PRAH-siz? iz it uh gun?
It's really tough, but I'm really into pushing the boundaries of web performance and challenging myself and stuff, and I realize that
it's RILL-y tuff, but Ah'm RILL-y IN-tuh pushin' thuh BOWN-dreez uhv web per-FOR-munts an' CHAL-in-jin' mah-self an' stuff, an' Ah REE-uh-lahz thet
it's not X, it's Y.
it's naht X, it's Y.
There comes a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart,
There comes uh tahm win thuh operation uhv thuh muh-SHEEN becomes soh OH-dee-us, makes yuh soh sick at hart,
you try out for the part.
yuh trah owt fer thuh part.
You can't even passably act.
yuh cain't even PASS-uh-blee akt.
But you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and
but you've got tuh put yer BAH-deez upon thuh geerz an' upon thuh wheelz, upon thuh LEV-erz, upon awl thuh ap-uh-RAT-us, an'
you've got to make a post.
you've got tuh mayk uh pohst.
Anyway, it's really good I started acting when I did because I was feeling really unfocused and kind of confused or something,
Anyway, it's RILL-y good Ah STAR-ded aktin' win Ah did b'cawz Ah wuz feelin' RILL-y un-FOH-cussed an' kinda kun-FYOOZD or sumthin',
and it just took blowing off a deadline to remind myself what it's all about, why I make stuff and all the reasons.
an' it jist took blowin' awf uh DED-lahn tuh ree-MAHND mah-self what it's awl uh-bout, wah Ah mayk stuff an' awl thuh REE-zunz.
The other creators are weird, though, because they're into these really specific scenarios, and they're so caught up in them that
thuh UTH-er kree-AY-derz are weerd, though, b'cawz they're IN-tuh these RILL-y spuh-SIF-ik suh-NAIR-ee-ohz, an' they're soh kawt up in thim thet
that's all they think about, which is kind of weird for me, because I just sort of assume that
thet's awl they think uh-bout, which iz kinda weerd fer me, b'cawz Ah jist sorta uh-SOOM thet
a lot of people would probably kill me before, like, a text editor eats the world.
uh lotta PEE-pul would PRAH-bub-lee kill me before, lahk, uh tekst ED-uh-der eets thuh wurld.
But creator bootcamp is in Berkeley and I'm here, long-distance, whatever.
but kree-AY-der BOOT-camp iz in BURK-lee an' Ah'm here, long-distance, whut-EV-er.
Anyway, I'm really psyched because I'm taking on all these really existential problems in my posts this month,
Anyway, Ah'm RILL-y sahked b'cawz Ah'm taykin' awn awl these RILL-y egg-zis-TEN-shul problems in mah pohsts this munth,
like a lot more methods of rationality, this hashtag cluster and this new group chat and a TikTok, which is really good.
lahk uh lot more METH-udz uhv rash-uh-NAL-uh-dee, this HASH-tag CLUS-ter an' this noo groop chat an' uh TIK-tawk, which iz RILL-y good.
I have just under 3k followers, but it's really good because I'm culling and I'm having to let go of stuff that
Ah hav jist UN-der 3k FAH-lerz, but it's RILL-y good b'cawz Ah'm cullin' an' Ah'm havin' tuh let goh uhv stuff thet
I have ideas about and opinions about and stuff.
Ah hav eye-DEE-uz uh-bout an' uh-PIN-yunz uh-bout an' stuff.
It's going to really help me, I think, because it'll make my stuff better because my mind will be empty and
it's gonna RILL-y help me, Ah think, b'cawz it'll mayk mah stuff better b'cawz mah mahnd will be EMP-tee an'
I won't be bringing so much into it, I think.
Ah won't be bringin' soh much IN-tuh it, Ah think.
Anyway, I'm really glad to be doing the bootcamp.
Anyway, Ah'm RILL-y GLAY-ud tuh be doing thuh BOOT-camp.
I know they asked me to talk about why I wanted to do it in the app, but
Ah know they askt me tuh tawk uh-bout wah Ah wanted tuh doo it in thuh app, but
I think desire is demonstrated in attainment so I just decided to do all thirty days before everyone else gets started.
Ah think duh-ZAHR iz DEM-un-stray-ded in uh-TAYN-munt soh Ah jist dih-SAH-ded tuh doo awl THUR-dee day-uz before ev'ry-wun els gets STAR-ded.
Like, there is no effective acceleration.
lahk, there iz no uh-FEK-tiv ak-sel-er-AY-shun.
Acceleration is unconditional or it's just speed.
ak-sel-er-AY-shun iz un-kun-DISH-un-ul or it's jist speed.
Now it's my sixth day at creator bootcamp.
naow it's mah sixth day-uh at kree-AY-der BOOT-camp.
I don't know, I guess I'm a little depressed.
Ah don't know, Ah guess Ah'm uh liddle duh-PREST.
I just keep feeling like everything's going all wrong.
Ah jist keep feelin' lahk everything's goin' awl rawng.
I just got a really bad update, like I was one person before I posted, and another person after I posted... that
Ah jist got uh RILL-y BAY-ud UP-dayt, lahk Ah wuz one PER-sun before Ah posted, an' another PER-sun AF-ter Ah posted... thet
was the beginning of my outrage.
wuz thuh buh-GIN-in' uhv mah OWT-rayj.
It's just like everything always goes all wrong when I get forced to explain what I'm doing before everyone unfollows me.
it's jist lahk ev'rythin' always gohz awl rawng win Ah git forst tuh ex-PLAYN what Ah'm doing before ev'ry-wun un-FAH-lohz me.
It's like I know that you should be able to exit.
it's lahk Ah know thet yuh should be AY-bul tuh EGG-zit.
You have the right to use the internet for something other than leisure.
yuh hav thuh raht tuh use thuh IN-er-net fer sumthin' UTH-er than LEE-zhur.
But it's like not before everyone else tells you what they think of it.
but it's lahk naht before ev'ry-wun els tells yuh what they think uhv it.
I shouldn't have to stand next to my post and explain why I made it and what it means exactly. That's just fucked.
Ah shouldn't hav tuh stand nekst tuh mah pohst an' ex-PLAYN wah Ah mayd it an' what it meenz egg-ZAK-lee. thet's jist fuhkt.
Am I supposed to stand next to it in some stupid museum for the rest of my life and be like,
am Ah supposed tuh stand nekst tuh it in some STOO-pid myoo-ZEE-um fer thuh rest uhv mah lahf an' be lahk,
Trigger Warning: first let me tell you a little bit about drug use, Woodstock, the Black Panthers, SDS, feminism, and Nixon's lies.
TRIG-er WAR-nin': furst let me tell yuh uh liddle bit uh-bout drug use, WOOD-stahk, thuh black PAN-therz, ess-dee-ESS, FEM-uh-nizm, an' Nixon's lahz.
My parents really fucked me up and so did high school.
mah PAIR-unts RILL-y fuhkt me up an' soh did hah skool.
Any questions? Come on, grill me.
Any KWES-chunz? come awn, grill me.
Ask me anything. Psychoanalyze me. I'm all yours.
ask me anythin'. sah-koh-AN-uh-lahz me. Ah'm awl yours.
All these boys have been welding together these giant creations and wheeling them into class and no one asks them, "Excuse me,
awl these boyz hav bin weldin' together these JAH-yunt kree-AY-shunz an' wheelin' thim IN-tuh class an' no one asks thim, "ex-KYOOZ me,
when was the last time you got laid?" But I get asked,
win wuz thuh last tahm yuh got layd?" but Ah git askt,
"I heard you made some headway on getting all your nudes removed from the internet?" Everyone's waiting around patiently for me to
"Ah herd yuh mayd some HAID-way awn gettin' awl yer noodz ree-MOOVD frum thuh IN-er-net?" ev'ry-wun's waydin' uh-ROUND PAY-shunt-lee fer me tuh
answer that and I'm just like, fuck off. That's a trade secret.
AN-ser thet an' Ah'm jist lahk, fuhk awf. thet's uh trade secret.
And they're like, you know, well, we have a need for, like, conversations on privacy, reputation, and identity too.
an' they're lahk, y'know, well, we hav uh need fer, lahk, conversations awn PRAH-vuh-see, rep-yoo-TAY-shun, an' eye-DEN-tuh-dee too.
You know, we're vulnerable on the internet too.
y'know, we're VUL-ner-uh-bul awn thuh IN-er-net too.
And it's like, it's not like rocket science, you know.
an' it's lahk, it's naht lahk RAHK-it SAH-yence, y'know.
It's like about not hoarding knowledge. Especially AI for SEO.
it's lahk uh-bout naht hordin' NAH-lij. ess-PESH-lee ay-EYE fer ess-ee-OH.
It's like, I mean, it is, but it's not just, you know.
it's lahk, Ah mean, it iz, but it's naht jist, y'know.
And it's like, I keep freaking out because I just think like no one understands what the stakes are, and everyone, like,
an' it's lahk, Ah keep FREEK-in' owt b'cawz Ah jist think lahk no one understands what thuh stayks are, an' ev'ry-wun, lahk,
acts like they have the end of the world all figured out.
akts lahk they hav thuh ehnd uhv thuh wurld awl FIG-yerd owt.
And all these, like, stupid kids are, like, acting so smart, like they know it all and they've read it all.
an' awl these, lahk, STOO-pid kidz are, lahk, aktin' soh smart, lahk they know it awl an' they've reed it awl.
And you know, they're going to be my age one day too, you know.
an' y'know, they're gonna be mah ayj one day-uh too, y'know.
They don't know jack shit.
they don't know jack shit.
And, like, the mentors are, like, no help at all because they're just, like, in La La Land, like, grooving on any,
an', lahk, thuh MEN-torz are, lahk, no help at awl b'cawz they're jist, lahk, in La La land, lahk, groovin' awn any,
like, existential risk because it reminds them they grew up with a sister and not, like, an Encyclopedia Britannica that
lahk, egg-zis-TEN-shul risk b'cawz it reminds thim they grew up with uh SIS-ter an' naht, lahk, un en-sah-kluh-PEE-dee-uh bri-TAN-uh-kuh thet
only goes up to G.
only gohz up tuh G.
And I just keep, like, feeling like, what is the point, you know, like again and again, like,
an' Ah jist keep, lahk, feelin' lahk, what iz thuh poynt, y'know, lahk agin an' agin, lahk,
what is the point of, like, making work for people that are so worried about the future that
what iz thuh poynt uhv, lahk, maykin' werk fer PEE-pul thet are soh WUR-eed uh-bout thuh FYOO-cher thet
they can't even remember what happened yesterday?
they cain't even ree-MEM-ber what HAP-und yester-day-uh?
It's like it's just useless and depressing.
it's lahk it's jist YOOS-luss an' duh-PRESS-in'.
Okay, so now it's my seventh day at creator bootcamp and I had a really crappy weekend because
oh-KAY, soh naow it's mah SEV-unth day-uh at kree-AY-der BOOT-camp an' Ah had uh RILL-y KRAP-ee WEEK-end b'cawz
I decided to go into SF, which meant that I had to take BART and I spent, like,
Ah dih-SAH-ded tuh goh IN-tuh ess-EFF, which meant thet Ah had tuh tayk BART an' Ah spent, lahk,
a whole afternoon using the meth addicts as shields because I didn't want to show up on some dog walker's new influencer campaign on Citizen app.
uh whole af-ter-NOON usin' thuh meth AD-ikts az sheeldz b'cawz Ah didn't wawnt tuh shoh up awn some dog walker's noo IN-floo-en-ser kam-PAYN awn SIT-uh-zun app.
It's like the 1920s.
it's lahk thuh 1920s.
I was, like, reduced to civilian status.
Ah wuz, lahk, ree-DOOST tuh suh-VIL-yun STAY-dus.
Um, and then not getting hired.
Um, an' thin naht gettin' HAH-erd.
Let me guess. You're not a real casting agent — because you're not human — and there is no job?
let me guess. yer naht uh reel CAST-in' AY-junt — b'cawz yer naht HYOO-mun — an' there iz no jahb?
I mean, but it's just like I refuse to take out my nose ring to work at a defense tech corporation.
Ah mean, but it's jist lahk Ah ruh-FYOOZ tuh tayk owt mah nohz ring tuh werk at uh duh-FENSE tek kor-puh-RAY-shun.
Anyway, finally I got a job working as a model trainer remotely for Mercor, who I never heard of before, but
Anyway, FAH-nul-lee Ah got uh jahb workin' az uh MAH-dul TRAY-ner ree-MOHT-lee fer MUR-kor, who Ah NEV-er herd uhv before, but
apparently it's, like, an overlord of AI remote work where your boss is literally a bot but
apparently it's, lahk, un OH-ver-lord uhv ay-EYE ree-MOHT werk where yer BAWSS iz LIT-er-lee uh bot but
the Slack is like the waiting room in hell.
thuh slack iz lahk thuh waydin' room in hell.
Yeah. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.
Yeah. BEE-dul-joos, BEE-dul-joos, BEE-dul-joos.
You're still stuck with the same market, baby, bitching about every artist on the face of the earth while
yer still stuck with thuh same market, BAY-bee, bitchin' uh-bout EV-ree AR-tist awn thuh fayce uhv thuh erth wah-uhl
I'm making his paintings for less than my age an hour.
Ah'm maykin' his PAYNT-inz fer less than mah ayj un ower.
I mean, I don't know how much he sells them for, but I know that he sells them and
Ah mean, Ah don't know haow much he sellz thim fer, but Ah know thet he sellz thim an'
that's a constant source of amazement for me because they melt into real estate.
thet's uh KAHN-stunt source uhv uh-MAYZ-munt fer me b'cawz they melt IN-tuh reel eh-STAYT.
I mean, I guess the relationship between art and money is totally fictional, but I still resent it.
Ah mean, Ah guess thuh ree-LAY-shun-ship between ART an' MUN-ee iz TOH-duh-lee FIK-shun-ul, but Ah still ree-ZENT it.
I don't know. Whatever.
Ah don't know. whut-EV-er.
But anyway, $2k wasn't enough to rent the drone I wanted, so I had to get another job working as a babysitter,
but anyway, $2k wasn't enough tuh rent thuh drohn Ah wanted, soh Ah had tuh git another jahb workin' az uh BAY-bee-sidder,
which actually was kind of interesting because the Nazis actually had really insane parenting practices too.
which actually wuz kinda IN-truh-stin' b'cawz thuh Nazis actually had RILL-y in-SAYN PAIR-un-tin' PRAK-tuh-siz too.
And I got my drinks for free and I met some kind of okay people who
an' Ah got mah drinks fer free an' Ah met some kinda oh-KAY PEE-pul who
don't lie awake at night wondering if they'll be alive tomorrow, which was cool because I'm realizing that AI doomers are so
don't lah uh-WAYK at naht wonderin' if they'll be uh-lahv tuh-MAHR-oh, which wuz cool b'cawz Ah'm REE-uh-lahzin' thet ay-EYE DOOM-erz are soh
boring and only slightly less annoying to hang out with than emerging artists, who are definitely the worst.
BOR-in' an' only SLAHT-lee less uh-NOY-in' tuh hang owt with than ee-MER-jin' AR-tists, who are DEF-uh-nit-lee thuh werst.
I was, like, hanging out with some boomers this summer and I was like, oh my God,
Ah wuz, lahk, hangin' owt with some BOOM-erz this SUM-er an' Ah wuz lahk, oh mah GAWD,
could you please get a life for a minute and stop with the NPR for a minute, please?
could yuh please git uh lahf fer uh MIN-it an' stahp with thuh enn-pee-ARR fer uh MIN-it, please?
But anyway, now I'm back at bootcamp and I'm freaking out a little bit because I can't wait for it to end,
but anyway, naow Ah'm back at BOOT-camp an' Ah'm FREEK-in' owt uh liddle bit b'cawz Ah cain't wait fer it tuh ehnd,
but at the same time I'm really scared for it to end because the state of humanity is so fucked.
but at thuh same tahm Ah'm RILL-y scared fer it tuh ehnd b'cawz thuh state uhv humanity iz soh fuhkt.
But I hooked up with some kind of okay dude from IES last week, which was hot because
but Ah hooked up with some kinda oh-KAY dude frum eye-ee-ESS last week, which wuz hot b'cawz
I don't have to be in these heated discussions in fuck/fight mode.
Ah don't hav tuh be in these heated discussions in fuhk/faht mohd.
I don't know, I was just, I felt really, really resentful today especially because everyone came whining back into town from, like,
Ah don't know, Ah wuz jist, Ah felt RILL-y, RILL-y resentful tuh-day-uh ess-PESH-lee b'cawz ev'ry-wun came whinin' back IN-tuh town frum, lahk,
Mars or the Manifest or whatever with all some tons and lots of money, and
Mars or thuh MAN-uh-fest or whut-EV-er with awl some tunz an' lahts uhv MUN-ee, an'
I worked my ass off posting at the most horrible rate and I didn't even get in.
Ah worked mah ay-ass awf pohstin' at thuh mohst HOR-uh-bul rayt an' Ah didn't even git in.
But anyway, creator bootcamp is pretty cool because I just get to post in my pajamas and
but anyway, kree-AY-der BOOT-camp iz PRIT-ee cool b'cawz Ah jist git tuh pohst in mah puh-JAM-uz an'
I don't have to deal with, like, a shared fridge, and I've been making these really kind of big posts, which
Ah don't hav tuh deel with, lahk, uh shaird frij, an' Ah've bin maykin' these RILL-y kinda big pohsts, which
is weird, but they're really ambitious.
iz weerd, but they're RILL-y am-BISH-us.
Because this is, like, going to be the last time I get to, you know, like, pretty soon I'll be, like, forty.
b'cawz this iz, lahk, gonna be thuh last tahm Ah git tuh, y'know, lahk, PRIT-ee soon Ah'll be, lahk, FOR-dee.
I've also been going out a lot to talks and Dolores Park and stuff and that's been really good for me,
Ah've also bin goin' owt uh lot tuh tawks an' duh-LOR-iss park an' stuff an' thet's bin RILL-y good fer me,
I think, because I don't know, maybe it's better, like, maybe it's better for me than being in some white cube.
Ah think, b'cawz Ah don't know, MAY-be it's better, lahk, MAY-be it's better fer me than bein' in some whaht kyube.
Ideology, you know, I mean, actually, like, going out and having, like, real experiences, I mean,
eye-dee-AH-luh-jee, y'know, Ah mean, actually, lahk, goin' owt an' havin', lahk, reel ex-PEER-ee-un-siz, Ah mean,
I should fall in love at some point and I should stay out all night doing bad things at some point, you know?
Ah should fawl in luv at some poynt an' Ah should stay owt awl naht doing BAY-ud thangs at some poynt, y'know?
But then what am I going to do?
but thin what am Ah gonna doo?
Walk the streets like Gorbachev?
wawk thuh streets lahk GOR-buh-chawv?
I want money, power, and Manolo Blahnik.
Ah wawnt MUN-ee, POW-er, an' muh-NOH-loh BLAH-nik.
Because when wokism and fascism are no longer fashionable, what will your Oscar de la Renta be worth?
b'cawz win WOHK-izm an' FASH-izm are no longer FASH-un-uh-bul, what will yer OSS-ker de la REN-tuh be wurth?
I mean I have to keep reminding myself of this, which is, like, very strange, but I'm really young.
Ah mean Ah hav tuh keep ree-MAHN-din' mah-self uhv this, which iz, lahk, very straynj, but Ah'm RILL-y yung.
Anyway, I'm really sick of bootcamp. I'm so over it.
Anyway, Ah'm RILL-y sick uhv BOOT-camp. Ah'm soh OH-ver it.
I'm definitely not going to apply. That's it, I guess. That's it.
Ah'm DEF-uh-nit-lee naht gonna uh-PLAH. thet's it, Ah guess. thet's it.
Okay, so now it's my eighth day at bootcamp and soon enough is not soon enough for it to be over.
oh-KAY, soh naow it's mah ayth day-uh at BOOT-camp an' soon enough iz naht soon enough fer it tuh be OH-ver.
I guess my main gripe this segment is with AI art.
Ah guess mah mayn grahp this SEG-munt iz with ay-EYE ART.
All these kids were telling me that I should make AI art because JPEGs are so cool, but JPEGs are not cool. They aren't.
awl these kidz wur tellin' me thet Ah should mayk ay-EYE ART b'cawz JAY-pegs are soh cool, but JAY-pegs are naht cool. they aren't.
You know, I think my generation was stupid and made stupid art because we were basking and reveling in our stupidity.
y'know, Ah think mah jen-er-AY-shun wuz STOO-pid an' mayd STOO-pid ART b'cawz we wur baskin' an' REV-uh-lin' in our stupidity.
But it's really scary because there's all these zoomer artists who wanna be me.
but it's RILL-y SKAIR-ee b'cawz there's awl these ZOO-mer AR-tists who wanna be me.
They never, like, doubt or question what post-internet was because they have, like, Napster for graduate school, you know?
they NEV-er, lahk, dowt or KWES-chun what post-IN-er-net wuz b'cawz they hav, lahk, NAP-ster fer GRAJ-yoo-ayt skool, y'know?
It must be right because everybody in grad school during post-internet missed the entire point of post-internet, meaning everybody who
It must be raht b'cawz everybody in grad skool during post-IN-er-net mist thuh in-TAHR poynt uhv post-IN-er-net, meanin' everybody who
is teaching people about post-internet somewhere other than Tumblr missed the entire fucking 2010s.
iz teachin' PEE-pul uh-bout post-IN-er-net somewhere UTH-er than TUM-blehr mist thuh in-TAHR fuckin' 2010s.
And it's like, you know, when art-school vocabulary is coupled with, you know, the promise that art is, like,
an' it's lahk, y'know, win art-school voh-KAB-yuh-lair-ee iz KUP-uld with, y'know, thuh PRAH-miss thet ART iz, lahk,
down with Elon and Peter and MTV's Jackass, you know, it's like everyone, like, thinks they're Marshall McLuhan.
daown with EE-lahn an' PEE-ter an' MTV's JAK-ass, y'know, it's lahk ev'ry-wun, lahk, thinks they're MAR-shull muh-KLOO-un.
But where is Pauline Kael to tell us we're stupid if we like this TV show, this celebrity, this record, you know?
but where iz paw-LEEN KAYL tuh tell us we're STOO-pid if we lahk this tee-VEE shoh, this celebrity, this record, y'know?
It's like everyone comes already brainwashed, you know?
it's lahk ev'ry-wun comes already BRAIN-warshed, y'know?
And it's like I try to speak up on the GC, but every time I do, someone jumps down my throat and,
an' it's lahk Ah trah tuh speak up awn thuh gee-SEE, but EV-ree tahm Ah doo, sum-wun jumps daown mah throht an',
you know, like, picks everything I say apart and, like, makes me out to be stupid.
y'know, lahk, picks ev'rythin' Ah say uh-PART an', lahk, makes me owt tuh be STOO-pid.
And, like, then all the a16z girls, like, laugh at me because, you know, maybe I'm not one of the good slaves.
an', lahk, thin awl thuh ay-sixteen-zee girls, lahk, laf at me b'cawz, y'know, MAY-be Ah'm naht one uhv thuh good slayvz.
But I know people are wrong about a lot of things.
but Ah know PEE-pul are rawng uh-bout uh lotta thangs.
I know, like, you know, it's just, it's like everyone is constantly misquoting and misunderstanding things.
Ah know, lahk, y'know, it's jist, it's lahk ev'ry-wun iz constantly miss-KWOH-din' an' miss-un-der-STAN-din' thangs.
And it's because, you know, since we're, like, lowering ourselves to scroll-stopping ubiquitous dooming, people feel like they don't have to, like,
an' it's b'cawz, y'know, since we're, lahk, LOH-er-in' ar-SELVZ tuh skrohl-STAH-pin' yoo-BIK-wuh-dus DOOM-in', PEE-pul feel lahk they don't hav tuh, lahk,
you know, really research anything, you know?
y'know, RILL-y research anythin', y'know?
It's like it's good enough if we just, like, you know, summarize it or point to it, you know?
it's lahk it's good enough if we jist, lahk, y'know, SUM-uh-raiz it or poynt tuh it, y'know?
It's like that's enough so that we can, like, you know, reference it and judge it, you know?
it's lahk thet's enough soh thet we kin, lahk, y'know, REF-er-ents it an' juj it, y'know?
I read this essay that Eliezer wrote and, like, in really big letters at the top of the essay it says,
Ah reed this ESS-ay thet el-ee-AY-zer wrote an', lahk, in RILL-y big letters at thuh top uhv thuh ESS-ay it says,
you know, he quotes, "Here we are now, entertain us." And all anybody could post, like, in response was,
y'know, he kwohts, "Here we are naow, en-ter-TAYN us." an' awl enny-body could pohst, lahk, in ree-SPAHNTS wuz,
"Here we are now, entertainers." And everyone knows it's "Here we are now, entertain us," you know?
"Here we are naow, en-ter-TAY-nerz." an' ev'ry-wun knows it's "Here we are naow, en-ter-TAYN us," y'know?
And it's like that shit wouldn't fly if, like, I misquoted BAP at the beginning of a post, you know?
an' it's lahk thet shit wouldn't flah if, lahk, Ah miss-KWOH-ded BAP at thuh buh-GIN-in' uhv uh pohst, y'know?
I couldn't get away with that, you know?
Ah couldn't git uh-WAY with thet, y'know?
And it's like, I don't know, it's just this whole premise is so whack, you know?
an' it's lahk, Ah don't know, it's jist this whole PREM-iss iz soh whack, y'know?
It's like please don't kill me because I want to be stupid, you know?
it's lahk please don't kill me b'cawz Ah wawnt tuh be STOO-pid, y'know?
It's like please don't kill me because it's fun, maybe, to look at the days as numbered, you know?
it's lahk please don't kill me b'cawz it's fun, MAY-be, tuh look at thuh day-uz az numbered, y'know?
It's fun to jump out of your skin every once in a while and, like,
it's fun tuh jump owt uhv yer skin EV-ree once in uh wah-uhl an', lahk,
imagine what an AI system whose goals are reliably beneficial to humanity would be like.
imagine what un ay-EYE system whose goals are reliably beneficial tuh humanity would be lahk.
It's like healthy. I mean, everything's, like, fucked up and metaphysically void, you know, including yourself.
it's lahk HEL-thee. Ah mean, everything's, lahk, fuhkt up an' met-uh-FIZ-ik-lee voyd, y'know, includin' yer-self.
And there's not one way, one life, one stupid truth, you know?
an' there's naht one way, one lahf, one STOO-pid trooth, y'know?
It's like, it's like he keeps wanting to make these, like, sweeping generalizations about everything.
it's lahk, it's lahk he keeps wantin' tuh mayk these, lahk, SWEEP-in' jen-er-uhl-ih-ZAY-shunz uh-bout ev'rythin'.
And he wants to name and define and classify everything and put it into this neat, tidy little box.
an' he wants tuh naym an' duh-FAHN an' CLASS-uh-fah ev'rythin' an' put it IN-tuh this neet, TAH-dee little bahks.
"If the box contains doom, I want to believe the box contains doom." It's like I keep sounding like Dylan McKay in
"if thuh bahks kun-TAYNZ doom, Ah wawnt tuh buh-LEEV thuh bahks kun-TAYNZ doom." it's lahk Ah keep SOWN-din' lahk DIL-un muh-KAY in
my head when I'm in his class because I keep being like, you just don't get it, do you?
mah haid win Ah'm in his class b'cawz Ah keep bein' lahk, yuh jist don't git it, doo yuh?
You know, it's like, I don't know.
y'know, it's lahk, Ah don't know.
I'm the first to admit that I'm a mass of self-contradictions and I'm confused a lot of the time and
Ah'm thuh furst tuh ad-MIT thet Ah'm uh mass uhv self-kahn-truh-DIK-shunz an' Ah'm kun-FYOOZD uh lotta thuh tahm an'
my opinion changes, you know?
mah uh-PIN-yun CHAYN-jiz, y'know?
But, you know, I don't see anything really wrong with that.
but, y'know, Ah don't see anythin' RILL-y rawng with thet.
I know I'm not stupid because, you know, I work really hard every day to learn and to put things together and
Ah know Ah'm naht STOO-pid b'cawz, y'know, Ah werk RILL-y hard EV-ree day-uh tuh learn an' tuh put thangs together an'
find allies and change and grow.
find AL-lahz an' chaynj an' groh.
And, you know, I don't want to be stupid.
an', y'know, Ah don't wawnt tuh be STOO-pid.
But I also don't think that any one person can, you know, know the answers to everything, you know?
but Ah also don't think thet any one PER-sun kin, y'know, know thuh AN-serz tuh ev'rythin', y'know?
And I'm willing to admit that to myself and I don't think that that makes me a slacker, you know?
an' Ah'm willin' tuh ad-MIT thet tuh mah-self an' Ah don't think thet thet makes me uh SLAK-er, y'know?
It's like, it means that I'm trying to be honest and real or whatever, you know?
it's lahk, it meenz thet Ah'm trah-in' tuh be AHN-ist an' reel or whut-EV-er, y'know?
I sound like a cliché, you know: don't label me, don't define me, don't tell me what I am, you know?
Ah sound lahk uh cliché, y'know: don't LAY-bul me, don't duh-FAHN me, don't tell me what Ah am, y'know?
But it's like, it's really true, you know?
but it's lahk, it's RILL-y true, y'know?
It's like, I'm just, like, really tired of all the ads on TV and all the quick edits and the morphing and
it's lahk, Ah'm jist, lahk, RILL-y TAHRD uhv awl thuh adz awn tee-VEE an' awl thuh kwik ED-its an' thuh MORF-in' an'
the boys in flannel goatees, you know, trying to sell me shit, you know? It's like, stop morphing.
thuh boyz in FLAN-ul goh-TEEZ, y'know, trah-in' tuh sell me shit, y'know? it's lahk, stahp MORF-in'.
Stop selling my culture back to me, you know?
stahp sellin' mah KUL-cher back tuh me, y'know?
Like, why is everyone in such a rush to, you know, make these neat little packages, you know?
lahk, wah iz ev'ry-wun in such uh rush tuh, y'know, mayk these neet little PAK-ij-iz, y'know?
Like, oh God, it's like too much to talk about, like, all at the same time or something and
lahk, oh GAWD, it's lahk too much tuh tawk uh-bout, lahk, awl at thuh same tahm or sumthin' an'
I keep getting a headache.
Ah keep gettin' uh HAID-ayk.
Like, every time I think about this stuff, I just get a headache.
lahk, EV-ree tahm Ah think uh-bout this stuff, Ah jist git uh HAID-ayk.
So I have one now.
soh Ah hav one naow.
So yeah, so that's my eighth semester in a nutshell. I'm going crazy.
soh yeah, soh thet's mah ayth suh-MES-ter in uh NUT-shell. Ah'm goin' KRAY-zee.
It's almost over and I decided that after I graduate, I think I need to get out of the city a little.
it's almost OH-ver an' Ah dih-SAH-ded thet AF-ter Ah GRAJ-yoo-ayt, Ah think Ah need tuh git owt uhv thuh SID-ee uh liddle.
I just have to get away from the city and I know I'll come back and, you know,
Ah jist hav tuh git uh-WAY frum thuh SID-ee an' Ah know Ah'll come back an', y'know,
everything's going to be fine.
everything's gonna be fahn.
But I just really need to, like, get some shit straightened out for myself and get away from certain people and just,
but Ah jist RILL-y need tuh, lahk, git some shit straightened owt fer mah-self an' git uh-WAY frum certain PEE-pul an' jist,
like, start over, you know?
lahk, start OH-ver, y'know?
So I'm logging off now. Bye.
soh Ah'm LAH-gin' awf naow. bah.